Never Again
by pureunicorntears
Summary: Because when the time has passed and we had let it slip, there's nothing we can do to return to that moment. We can never return, never again. (A Levi x Sasha, slight Petra x Levi and implied Jean X Sasha) : AOT Modern AU


" **Never Again"**

Because when the time has passed and we had let it slip, there's nothing we can do to return to that moment. We can never return, _never_ _again_.

* * *

 **A/N:** This fic is inspired by the Filipino (OPM) Song 'Di Na Muli' (Never Again). It's a very beautiful song so please listen to it/watch the official music video. You can find several English Translations of it so you would understand the context of the song. The lyrics above were translated personally by me.

I hope you enjoy reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Xoxo!

 **DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN AOT/SNK (SADLY HAJIME ISAYAMA OWNS IT) NOR THE SONG "DI NA MULI" PERFORMED BY JANINE TEÑOSO/ITCHYWORMS.**

* * *

" _And there were so many things that were not even necessary;_

 _If only we can resolve all of our misunderstandings;_

 _But you just do not know, you've never experienced it;_

 _Our yesterday wouldn't have suffered."_

" _I'm sorry once again._

 _It won't happen again. Never again."_

 _ **~ Di Na Muli (Janine Teñoso)**_

* * *

I wish I could go back to the old times, where we just lie comfortably under the cozy sheets – our bodies entangled, sharing each other's warmth in the midst of the cold weather, the light tapping of raindrops on the ceiling of our home as a spellbinding melody, slowly lulling us to sleep. How I miss the way his fingers caress my skin while I bury my face in his neck, taking in his irresistible scent. He smelled that of the woods, earthy amber with hints of spices and vanilla. He reminds me so much of my village back in Dauper – serene, tranquil, safe.

Oh how we loved to spend our rainy afternoons in each other's arms sometimes naked, sometimes not. How we loved to light lavender-scented candles because he likes the aroma that much. How we loved to share one fluffy blanket and fight over who gets to have the most of it, which of course is me, and I always end up back-hugging him because even if he hates to admit it, I'm the bigger spoon and he fits perfectly inside my embrace.

I can still remember the way he held my hand as he guided me in every stroke of the paint brush. The way I can feel his breath tickling against my ear sending each and every nerve in my body over to the edge. The way his free arm snakes around my waist as he pulls me closer to him, the way we painted a portrait of the two of us while smiling ear-to-ear just because the presence of the other is basically safe haven – which reminds me of how deeply I miss our random conversations together. How we talked about the smallest of things to deciding how we were going to achieve our dreams together. How he wanted to be a well-known painter while I, the most famous chef in the city.

I miss how he always looked so stoic yet so calm. How he looked apathetic, yet deep inside he's basically a soft, caring person. Levi is the kindest, most generous person I've ever known although he looked like he could send flying daggers just by his bored gaze. How only I could hear his stifled giggles and notice the smiles he tries to hide badly. I just miss how his personality greatly contrasted his looks. How he was celebrated as a persona of excellence and bravery yet deep inside he hides his greatest demons and greatest fears.

How I wish I could go back to the old times, wherein life was good, wherein there's not a thing in the world that could possibly hinder our love for each other – a life where everything was going smoothly, a life wherein everything was sweet and colorful, a life wherein we were just genuinely happy.

But I never got the chance to prove him how much I love him. I never got the chance to tell him how I really feel about him leaving for France to pursue his dreams _without me_ like how we originally planned things to be. I never got the chance to tell him that I actually support his decisions because I ended up yelling at his face, crying because I was just so jealous he gets to have tons of opportunities while I sat here rotting with all the rejected applications. I never got the chance to make it up to him. I never even said goodbye, I never even accompanied him to the airport.

How I wish I could go back to the old times so I could get a chance to start again. A chance to do the things I failed to do, to say the things left unsaid, to prove to him that he actually deserved all of these recognition because he is a very great person instead of being a pain in the ass and dragged his courage down.

Now here I am, spending the rainy afternoons alone in my bed, listening to the light taps of raindrops, lonely and miserable. There are no more candles to light and no more portraits to paint. There's nobody here with me to fight over blankets on cold evenings and most of all, nobody's here to fill the gap inside my heart anymore.

How I wish I could go back to the old times.

 _Why couldn't I?_

* * *

It's been five years since Levi flew to France. Sasha was left with nothing but devastation the second he stepped out of their apartment door. The moment he did, she basically threw every little thing that appears within her line of sight. She destroyed each and every painting they painted together, pulling on her hair as she wailed in frustration. She never thought she could be that selfish, breaking up with him just because he got to have a break in his career while she still hasn't. She loathed everything that reminded her of him that she has set his remaining things on fire.

But deep inside, she knew it wasn't _really_ the reason. She was jealous not because he gets to have the acknowledgements that he deserved but because it wasn't _her_ who he's going to be celebrating it with. Petra, his childhood friend was the reason why opportunities were mainly raining above his head. Petra was a beautiful young woman; she was successful and was a very influential person. She was the one who recommended his artworks and helped him in achieving his dreams. Sasha did not take part in any of it although she was the inspiration of all those wonderful masterpieces in the first place.

It was when Petra called out of the blue one late night only to inform Levi that he was invited to participate in a prestige art competition. Unfortunately, it has to be in France, of all places, thousands of miles away from their current destination. France was Levi and Petra's hometown. The moment Levi broke the news to her, she was ecstatic. She genuinely felt happy for him so she asked,

"So when are we going to France, dear? I also can't wait to finally meet your parents" which in turn earned a response of,

"I'm sorry, Sasha but Petra strictly requested that I come alone. She said she can only spare one plane ticket. Don't worry; I'll be back before you know it."

The disheartened Sasha was on a tight budget that time so she did everything in order to save up money for the ticket. That meant cutting down her allowance for food and lord knows how much she loved food and wouldn't trade it for the world, which means Levi is pretty much a big deal. She also applied for literally any job that fits her description. She doesn't want to bother Levi anymore so she never asked for his help regarding this matter. He is already in enough suffering there is – having been fired from their university simply because he dated her, his art student of all people. Their relationship was considered as a taboo and lots of people were very displeased. He had to work as a freelance artist and because of his stained reputation, clients were quite scarce.

"Are you ashamed?"

The question caught Levi off-guard. He looked over his shoulder only to see the brunette lass staring outside the window, her gaze looking towards a far distance. He was painting a portrait of the view outside the terrace of their apartment at that moment. It was an image of an overlooking view of the city lights illuminating the dark skies of Scotland.

"What are you talking about?"

"Are you ashamed because you were my teacher and I was your student?"

His shoulders tensed momentarily at her question before they relaxed once again. It was times like this that her insecurities slowly uncover their selves behind the cheerful and confident façade that Sasha had always put up.

"You were once my student, and the best one at that. There's nothing to be ashamed of."

Levi tried to reassure her but it didn't help much. She just hugged her knees closer to her chest. There was an awkward silence in the atmosphere and she was the one to break it.

"Then why won't you let me meet your parents?"

"There's always a right time for that."

It's always the same answer no matter how she tried varieties of approaches in asking him questions about when she was going to meet his parents – that there's always a right time. Surely it wasn't about their finances because he could just tell her straight up that they still do not have enough money to fly to France right away. Something must really be up, she thought to herself. She was getting impatient and paranoid at the same time.

Weeks had passed and their relationship was evidently going downhill. Levi oftentimes came home late, sometimes the next day already, from practicing with Petra. She was a potter and she was to join the art contest as well. Both agreed to practice side by side, making plans while brainstorming new ideas and concepts. Sasha was always left alone at home and ends up calling over her girlfriends to accompany her for a while. Sometimes, she calls Connie or Jean over Skype just to check up on them and on how their careers were going slickly.

"Sash, you sure you're alright? You don't look so good." Connie asked his best friend worriedly.

"You've been crying, haven't you?" Jean butted in a fuming tone – his brows furrowed and teeth clenched. "Told you dating our art teacher was a very bad idea."

After graduating in college, the three have separated ways. Connie has returned to the US to pursue his dreams in becoming a football player of the national sports team while Jean was still in Italy as an equestrian preparing for his upcoming competition before he comes home to France.

"Yes, Connie I'm f-fine and no, Jean I – I wasn't crying!"

Sasha's eyes were swollen, her voice hitched, and her throat was hoarse.

"Please don't talk about Levi like that. You know how much we both love each other." She tried to prove the said point to her friends but she sounded more like it was her own self she was trying to convince.

"You sure were crying potato girl. Who in their right mind would call in ungodly hours waking our sleeping asses up only to be told that nothing's wrong and everything is fine?"

Jean was annoyed. It was the third time that week that Sasha called them after she finished crying. He was very worried for her that if only he had the time, he would fly back to Scotland this instance and comfort her. Connie would love to do the same too.

"Cut the 'we both love each other' crap, Sash. It definitely looks the opposite."

She looked sullen hearing his statement and fought back the tears that threatened to fall from her russet orbs.

"You could end the call and go back to sleep, Jean. I'm sorry for disturbing you guys."

Sasha apologized to her friends. The last thing she wanted to do was to bother other people just because she still wasn't enough of a big girl to face her problems alone. Nevertheless, she was still grateful that they picked up the call despite the difference in time zones.

"I'm really sorry, I–"

"Ignore him, Sash. Y'know you could call us anytime."

"Thanks Con, really. Thank you both for always staying by my side."

* * *

"You know what, let's break up."

Levi immediately shot up his head towards the owner of the voice. His brows furrowed at her outrageous remarks and placed the paint brush down rather harshly. He lets out an exasperated sigh. She's been giving him the cold shoulder lately and no matter what he does, she's still in a bad mood. She rarely talked to him nor spared him a glance. She was being indifferent. He was focused on his upcoming contest that he thought she was just having her menstrual mood swings so he just brushed them aside.

"What's gotten into you now, Braus?"

Sasha knew too well that the moment he calls her by her last name, it's a goddamned serious business and he is not to be played with. But she ain't backing down.

"You don't have time for me anymore! You rarely even come home. You're not the Levi I once knew."

And it was true. He rarely had time for her, let alone come home to her. He spends most of his nights at Petra's studio wearing his self out from frustration because he's been lacking unique ideas lately. He badly wanted to win the competition, badly wanted to make his name praiseworthy so he could rub it on the faces of those who had fired him.

"Think about it clearly before you decide and let's have this talk some other time."

"That's it! That's what I'm talking about. When are we going to stop ignoring the elephant in the room, Levi?" Sasha half-yelled, tears welling up in her eyes. Levi, however, tried to handle the situation calmly. He took the damp cloth on the table and wiped his hands clean. He left his work and walked towards the now snivelling Sasha. As he bent sat down to the bed beside her, he let out a sigh.

"Look at me." Levi cupped her chin and gently turned her head towards him so that they were face to face. sterling gray eyes meet russet ones. It was the same pair of doe eyes that made him fall for her a few years back. "There is no elephant in the room, Sasha but if this is about me leaving for France, then know that I'm doing this for the both of us." He tried to kiss her forehead but she swatted his hands away instead, scoffing as she did so.

"More like doing it for yourself."

"Excuse me?" He raised a brow at the sudden outburst.

"Admit it Levi. It's only you who can benefit out of that fucking concour d'art. What's it got to do with me even? You go there with people practically praising your works while here I am living through every day of my life getting rejected just because they can't risk the restaurant's name for a rookie like me."

"And that right there is the problem with you, Sash. You don't know how to start small. You quickly dive into the deep waters when you clearly still don't know how to swim!"

There was a heated exchange between the two with Levi starting to lose his cool. Can't she see he's under pressure because he wanted to win the contest so badly? They only got this one chance to change their lives so he has to sacrifice and take it. Can't she see he's putting up with her stubbornness all these time? Because no matter what advice he gives her, she always does the complete opposite. He just can't get through her head sometimes.

"Why, thank you for the confession, Levi. You finally said it! That I'm really nothing compared to your excellence, that I can't do it because I'm a mediocre." Sasha smiled sarcastically and wiped her eyes. She stood up and turned her back to him.

"Sasha, you know that's not what I meant, I–"

"Leave."

Levi tried to reason with her and followed her from where she was standing. With her back still against him, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed the back of her head, taking in the florally scent of her hair. She didn't resist but she didn't return the hug either.

"Sash, I'm sorry. Don't you see that I'm trying?"

"No, I don't. But what I do see is that you're still here when I clearly told you…to leave."

The last words sounded so heavy in her tongue. She felt a pang in her heart but she's has no plans of taking back what she has already said.

"I…I hate you!"

Levi knew when to leave when he felt he wasn't wanted anymore. And although it breaks his heart, he let go of his latch and hung his head low. Agonizingly, he threw all his clothes in his bag and closed it shut raucously. He clenched his fist and punched the wall with all his might which left it cracked and his knuckles bleeding.

Sasha, however, cannot afford to cry in front of him anymore so she held back the sob she'd been holding in the whole process of him packing his things. She still haven't dared to look towards his direction so she can only hear the bags zipping and the loud noise his wall-punch has made.

"Goodbye, Sasha."

With a final click, the door was locked and shut. Sasha could only fall to her knees and break down.

Levi left the apartment they considered their home for three joyful years with a heavy heart. With nowhere else to stay, he found himself standing in front of Petra's doorstep.

* * *

"You sure you still want to go to that exhibit?"

Jean adjusted his tie as he watched the pale, Scottish lady fidget with her fingers uncomfortably through the mirror.

"Because if you don't, we can stay here so you could rest. You're in no good shape, Sash."

"I'm fine, Jean. I can handle this." Sasha answered her long-time friend while he combed his long, ashen locks in place.

"Don't you have plans on cutting that short again?"

"Nah, I'm good. I look more strikingly handsome in these." He answered while he fixed his beard and smiled boyishly at her.

Sasha just smiled back as she took out the small scented paper from her purse. It was an invitation to Levi's Art Exhibition. Petra sent it to her through mail five days ago, saying she should be there. Of course she'd be there to watch how successful he'd become. She'd be there to watch how he has finally achieved his dreams even without her just like how they planned, how he can finally avenge his stained reputation and clean his name. But she just wasn't so sure if she can face him after all that has happened five years ago. Five years without communication and five years of unresolved misunderstandings.

"Do you think…do you think he still hates me?" She inquired between coughs. She covered her mouth with a handkerchief as she did so – small spots of blood staining the white cloth.

"Well, that's for you to find out later 'tato girl."

Jean walked towards her and offers her his hand.

"Shall we?"

* * *

The moment they arrived outside the gallery, Sasha's legs hesitated to move. She felt weak in the knees that Jean had to catch her from falling a multiple times.

"You know what? Let's just go home. You're clearly not feeling well."

"No. I can do this. I'm…I'm just scared."

Sasha's heart was beating rapidly. She's anxious as to what his reaction would be his when they finally meet once again. Scared as to what she would be witnessing in this certain event, she had a gut feeling it won't be something good.

"Well, if you insist. But I'm gonna have to go inside with you just in case you need some help."

"Thanks Jean, but I can really do this by myself. It's about time I face him and tell him everything I wanted to tell him before, it's not like it's going to change something but hey, better late than never right?"

Sasha forced out a weak smile. But her smile didn't quite reach her eyes and Jean knew she was just trying to be strong. Four days ago, this same girl called him saying she'd be flying to France to visit an old friend and asked if she could stay in his place for a short while. He wholeheartedly agreed and promised to show her around town after her visit.

"I'll be in the car. Call me when the show's over alright?"

She nodded gratefully at him while he watched his silhouette disappear into one of the halls of the building.

She walked inside where the exhibit was held and took a deep breath. There on the entrance was a poster of the man she loved the most - his name written in a fancy font with a description below of how amazing he is as an artist. There was also a red carpet laid down to welcome the visitors. Before entering further into the room, she took a moment to stare at his image and smiled genuinely while looking at it. He sure has changed a lot. His face looked a lot brighter, his aura more proud and there was a small smile plastered on his face. She was happy for him.

A few more steps inside and she was then welcomed with his exquisite masterpieces. There snugly hanging on the white walls were abstract paintings depicting a particular mood, some were those that were more politically inclined and many other more variety of exceptional concepts. She can hear people talking about how breathtaking his pieces were and were curious as to what inspired him while he was creating them. She can't help but feel delighted for him, that finally he was getting the credit he was truly worthy of.

As she wandered through the huge room admiring the beauty of his art, something piqued her interest. A certain painting looked familiar. It was the same painting he made years ago – the one that showed the city lights outside their apartment room. Her body instantaneously froze, her mind reeling back to the same night he painted it. They had a fight on that evening and immediately, she felt a lurch in her stomach. She went on and the still lives that followed almost made her cry.

One portrayed the raindrops against their windowsill. Another was about the small coffee table in their living room with his favorite teacup on top of it filled with his favorite tea. One that brought forth a rush of nostalgia was a painting of a familiar raven-haired man with an auburn-haired lass lying in his arms while they slept on a rainy afternoon. Their faces weren't clear for he omitted several facial features. She held back a sob and brought her hands towards her mouth to stifle them. She moved to the next frame and it was about purple candles lighted dimly and she guessed they were lavender-scented based on the lavender flowers that were scattered on the floor. The caption of the certain collection was called ' _A home away from home_ ' depicting how cozy his life was at a place called Scotland. The collection made the audience feel at ease and his connection to them was pretty strong for one could actually put oneself in that particular situation and reviews were about how they missed their own homes because his artworks reminded them how it feels good to be at home.

Sasha overheard a few spectators horde over a corner of the room. Intrigued, she walked over to take a peek at what the buzz was all about. A collection called ' _mon bien-aimée, mon inspiration'_ which translates to ' _my beloved, my inspiration_ '. As she inspected the canvasses, she realized they were portraits…of her - and it shattered her heart into million pieces.

One showed her cooking something while her back was turned from the first person's point of view - her hair was tied into a high bun and her apron stained with what she guessed as mustard and tomato sauce. Another was an image of the two of them painting a doe in the forest, Levi sitting behind her while he guided her hands through each and every stroke. They looked happy and she couldn't help but smile warmly at the memory when they did it together. She can still remember that she was still a student at that time and he was her art class instructor. The one that left her agape though, was a candid portrait of her. Her expression calm and blissful. Her chest was wrapped in the fluffy blanket they used to fight over with. She was sitting in their bed staring at the foggy sky outside their window, her back exposed and her pink, laced panties peeping out, indicating she was half-naked. She remembers it clearly, how she asked him what he was sketching at that time and why he has such a stupid smile on his face. She remembers how he smirked at her question and told her to just continue whatever she was doing. He never showed her that painting, and here it was.

A voice called behind her which snapped her out of her trance.

"Sasha?"

As she turned to see who it was, she couldn't help but feel a tinge of resentment and envy.

"Petra…"

The copper-haired woman walked towards her and welcomed her in a warm embrace. She was wearing a short, red dress that hugged her curves snugly, she had light make-up on and her jewelries sparkled in the bright lights. She looked stunning compared to her who was looking rather pale and lanky in her black plaid coordinates. Her pencil skirt reaching below her knees and her hair in a low ponytail. Her clothes didn't fit snugly for she has lost a lot of weight over the years which surprised everyone who were aware that she was a well-known glutton. She thought she looked awful but Jean reassured her she looked astonishing as ever.

"I'm so glad you came! You have no idea how worried I was thinking you couldn't make it! When did you arrive? Where are you currently staying?"

The lady in front of her seemed to be overjoyed. Oh how she wished she could feel those kind of feelings too, but she can't. Not anymore. Sasha let herself be led by Petra towards the direction of the stage.

"You know you can stay in our house for a while. Come visit us if you have time."

 _Our house?_

"I uh…sure." She just meekly responded.

"Levi's going to be here in a while. We have an important announcement to share with everyone. If you'll excuse me I just have to call the other guests. Just stay here, alright?"

Petra happily left without sparing another glance at her and went on to gather the other visitors. The gut feeling that something bad was going to happen still haven't left her.

* * *

"Thank you everyone, for coming."

The crowd applauded as Levi greeted everyone who came to attend his art exhibit.

"I want to thank all of the people who had greatly contributed to my success - Mom, dad." He gestured towards the direction of his parents who stood by the sidelines hand-in-hand with a proud look on their faces.

 _So they are Levi's parents whom I never got the chance to meet._

 _Kuchel,_ as she has remembered to be Levi's mother looked strikingly like his son except that she has doe eyes compared to her son's hooded eyes.

 _At least I get to see them now._

"I also want to thank the special person who has pushed me to continue striving hard in order to accomplish my dreams, who relentlessly lifted up my spirit and…"

For a split second Sasha thought it was her. But Levi paused as he looked to the woman beside him with meaningful eyes. He held her hand and laced their fingers together. The sight made her chest tightened that she laughed bitterly.

 _How silly of me to think that it is I whom he is talking about._

He looked contented, and just genuinely happy. Levi has really changed big time. His eyes were more expressive now, obviously freed from all his demons whom he quietly fought every night.

 _He used to look at me that way too._

"…and gave me her sweet 'yes' when I asked her to marry me."

Levi continued his speech which gained a few hoots and a big round of applause from the crowd.

Her-heart-squeezed-ever-so-tightly-that-it-could-burst-at-any-moment was an understatement. She just wanted to get out of that intoxicating room and infuriatingly struggled with the tears that started brimming in her eyes. Suddenly she had one of her asthma attacks occurring at the worst of times that she had to cough it loudly in the middle of the celebration. The incident has gained unwanted attention towards her. Feeling their hot stares burning through her skin, she immediately bowed and apologized while she ran to the bathroom to finally weep over her contained frustrations and cough her lungs out. But before she left the hall, she caught a glimpse of a shocked Levi whose eyes widened slightly, jaw somewhat dropped. He looked like that of someone who had just seen a ghost. She's had enough trouble for the day already and all the courage she has bottled up to finally talk to him promptly faded before she could even face him.

She looked at her face in the mirror and cursed how her mascara was all ruined. She coughed harshly once again and a few drops of blood were spitted out. Sasha wiped her mouth and breathed deeply. She didn't come this far only to make a fool of herself without even giving a proper apology to the man she has wronged a few years back. She was now feeling lightheaded and decided that maybe the confrontation could wait another day so she decided to call Jean who then promised to be there in a jiffy. The moment she opened the door, she was greeted with the last person she wanted to talk to right now.

"Levi."

 _I guess it cannot wait anymore._ She sighed as she thought to herself. _Especially since the last thing I said to him was that I hate him._

 _I will not waste another moment._

He was leaning on a wall across the door with his hands inside his pockets, looking uninterested as ever. He lifted his head to face her and he doesn't know what to feel with the whole situation. He badly wanted to hug her right there and then but he knew he has no right to for he was now an engaged man and they still yet to tie lose ends. What caught his attention was when the woman who was really behind the magnificent artworks, the once that led him to winning the prestige competition back them which brought him to where he is right now, bowed lowly to congratulate him.

"Congratulations, Levi. Congrats on your um… engagement too."

Levi knew Sasha for a long period of time to distinguish the hint of jealousy and sorrow in her tone.

"I'm happy that you finally found someone who could give you everything I failed to offer. I'm glad, really. I feel like I could now sleep soundly at night knowing that someone's around to keep you in track." She straightened herself up and let out a small laugh, gathering all her courage not to break down and cry once again for the nth time that day.

He wanted to explain that Petra was merely just the means so he could get to where he is right now. But Petra was also the one to warm his lonely nights and was the one who accompanied him through his depression. She has helped him get over her and he can't help but admit the fact that he had fallen for her too. Levi couldn't find the audacity to say a word to her though. He just couldn't find the right words to say so she continued to tell him whatever was on her mind.

"I'm sorry for that night. I was selfish and –"

"I've forgiven you, Sasha. So please. Forgive yourself too."

* * *

 _And there were so many things that were not even necessary;_

 _If only we can resolve all of our misunderstandings;_

 _But you just do not know, you've never experienced it;_

 _Our yesterday wouldn't have suffered._

* * *

Sasha's heart jumped out of her rib cage upon hearing his soft voice once again. She just couldn't hold it in anymore. She bursted out crying and her knees were about to give in. As Levi was about to run to her side and catch her, another pair of strong arms beat him to it.

"Sash, let's go home."

It was Jean. She looked so small in his embrace and Sasha latched on to him like her life depended on it. She was sobbing relentlessly inside his hold and Levi hated the fact that he's jealous despite the fact that he was going to be a married man soon.

Petra came into the scene to ask what's going on as Jean led Sasha out of the room. But before they could get out of there, Sasha stopped in her tracks and looked at the disgruntled Levi.

"I'm sorry once more, Levi. I…I promise none of this would have to happen ever again."

She looked at him in his sterling gray eyes and beamed affectionately at him, letting tears of joy cascade freely over her cheeks. She was just so damn exultant that she gets to see him again for the _last_ time.

"I'm so happy to see you."

* * *

 _You have lost your life, leaving without a goodbye,_

 _So I just have to whisper these words to myself;_

 _I love you, and thank you._

 _Until we meet again._

* * *

Levi never thought he'd be in this very situation right now. Crying his eyes out, pulling out on his hair with a desperate wail. He had never experienced anything like this since the day Sasha broke up with him. Now, it felt like history has repeated itself once again. But this time it was different. Because he wasn't grieving for the loss of the person who's still alive anymore. He was now grieving for the permanent loss of the person who's never coming back. And she left without even hearing what he has to say.

How he wished he could go back to the old times, wherein life was good, wherein there's not a thing in the world that could possibly hinder their love for each other – a life where everything was going smoothly, a life wherein everything was sweet and colorful, a life wherein they were just genuinely happy to be each other's other half.

How he wished he could go back to the old times, so he could get another chance to tell her how sorry he was for leaving when he could've stayed and fought for her, for their relationship. How he wished he left earlier for the airport on his trip back to Scotland so he could've arrived in time. He could've had told her how much he loved her until the very end and have her in his arms once again.

But he was already a second late for she has already breathed out her last breath the moment he swung open the hospital door. Just a second late.

She has already closed her precious eyes as her remaining tears fell. The colors had drained from her face and she was now a cold corpse.

" _Sasha's dead_ " were the words that greeted him as he entered the crowded room, and it left him scarred for the rest of his life.

How he wished he could go back to the old times.

Why couldn't he?

* * *

Because when the time has passed and we had let it slip, there's nothing we can do to return to that moment. We can never return, _never_ _again_.

 _~Fin~_

* * *

 **A/N:** Please leave a review. Thank you.


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